What follows is a transcript for the podcast Sexual Biohacking - Susan Bratton - Longevity.
Topics within the interview include the following:
- The benefits of intimate connection on your health and longevity
- Why your brain is your biggest sex organ
- How we can extend our “sex span” for deeper connection and to live longer
- Techniques and therapies for ageless sexuality
- The power of orgasmic cross training
Susan Bratton's Sexual Healing
Dr. Dan Stickler: Welcome to the Qualia Insights podcast. I'm your host today, Dr. Daniel Stickler, and I have the wonderful guest that I've been looking forward to speaking with. Her name is Susan Bratton. She is a champion and advocate for all who desire passionate relationships. Susan is a bestselling author and publisher of 44 books and programs on lovemaking techniques and bedroom communication skills, and the world's most well-respected sexual biohacker. I love that. Susan, welcome to the show.
Susan Bratton: Hi, Dr. Dan. I have been looking forward to seeing you too. It's so nice to be here. Right on. We are like-minded brethren.
Dr. Dan Stickler: Let's do some co-creation here.
Susan Bratton: Let's do it. I'm very good at that.
Dr. Dan Stickler: All right. So I have to ask you before we get started, what got you into this line of work? I hate to call it work, because for me, this kind of stuff isn't work, this is fun.
Susan Bratton: Well, a crisis in my marriage, where we just weren't having passionate lovemaking, it wasn't that pleasurable for me, and we didn't know what we didn't know. And when we set about learning about sexuality and about lovemaking, it instantly transformed our relationship. And we thought, "Why is it so hard for people to find out about lovemaking techniques? And why aren't we taught these things? Why is it the blind leading the blind and everybody's getting divorced out there?" And we were Silicon Valley executives and we decided to essentially bring the workshops that we'd gone to onto the internet so that anyone anywhere around the world could experience the transformational process of learning about conscious heart connected lovemaking.
And so for the last couple of decades, I've been publishing my own work and the work of my mentors. I've been extremely fortunate, honored really, to have the mentorship of some incredible people. And I think that the ecosystem of techniques and skills that we've created in our company, Better Lover, they've stood the test of time, Dan. And I'm actually redoing some content right now, and I could be creating anything, and I'm recreating some of the standard practices and techniques that I've been teaching helping people learn for decades that I think are the fundamentals of having this... I say what I do is I transform having sex into making love.
The only kind of education that's out there is the movies, which are ridiculously bad and they show you the wrong things to do, or pornography, which is ridiculously awful and shows the wrong things to do. And we don't get anything other than a fear-based sex education about some little information about contraceptives, incorrect anatomy information. Basically, it's just a disaster. And so I think that's where it all started. Of course, they say your greatest wound becomes your greatest gift. And for me, that was what it was, how easy it is to have really great satisfying sex that fuels your life, fuels your creativity, versus having what most people have, which is, boy, really just barely worth doing.
Dr. Dan Stickler: Yeah. And the sex education I think, and actually all of society, is very... they've medicalized the body, especially the sex organs. And it's hard to break that in people, they just have this medicalized view of everything. Found that with my wife, and she had felt that medicalized piece of it. And we went through a bunch of deprogramming over the years for both of us. I had it really deeply ingrained being a physician, going through medical school and having further training in it there, where we learned about all the diseases that these things can have.
Susan Bratton: Yeah, instead of all the pleasure. It's interesting, one of the tenets of the things that I talk about these days is the 20 kinds of male and female orgasm, basically, our orgasmic potential. I'm not a therapist, I'm an author of passionate lovemaking techniques, bedroom communication skills, and essentially intimate wellness, sexual regenerative therapies, and sexual biohacking, the enhancement of our genital and pleasure systems. And one of the most important things is to teach people what's possible, what our body is capable of having without making people feel overwhelmed. When they find out that there's 20 kinds of orgasms... and by the way, the 20th one is an orgasm I call Wild Card, because I'm always learning about new things. I worked my way up learning those 20, so I know there's some that I'm not even aware of, and I don't want people to think, "Oh God, I can't even have one. This is too much."
So you have to tread lightly on the vastness of our sexual potential so as not to scare people away. But my God, we're leaving a lot of pleasure on the table that we could be having, and that's one of my favorite things to show people, is how much pleasure is possible, how much heart connection is possible. It's funny, before we started, I told you that I just got back from 40 days in Europe, and I was with my partner for the first part of it, but then the last part of it, I was by myself, but with other people, but by myself. And I actually went through a physical withdrawal. I think it was an oxytocin drop from not being with my partner.
And I noticed that it wasn't that I was lonely, because I was doing things with a lot of people, but I wasn't being held, I wasn't making love. Even my desire dropped. I wasn't self pleasuring, it was like I experienced this dampening effect in my life, that I wouldn't call depression, or anything like that, it was almost a deadening, a dampening of my spirit maybe, of my physicality, of just my exuberance. I noticed that from withdrawal of affection and connection, physical connection, that I get so much of because I plan my dates with my partner, and we have things we want to do, and we're very lovey-dovey, and I was just thinking about how so many people go through life with... they're dampened, and it's heartbreaking, really. I want everyone to have what I'm having, Dan.
Dr. Dan Stickler: Yeah, me too. Me too. Yeah. My wife and I have been together for 15 years now, and first 10 years, initially, we were making love quite a bit. But then we went into the standard routine of once or twice a week, focusing on business. And we worked together. But it wasn't until 2019, almost four years ago now, actually, a little over, but we started a routine, and it wasn't planned or anything, but it happened. We wake up at 4:00 AM, and we have between 4:00 AM and 9:00 AM of time for us together. We will wake up and do our meditation and then climb back in bed, and we'll lay there, we'll read to each other, we'll talk, we'll massage, we'll make love. And we've missed maybe 20 days in the last four years of doing that. And those days that we miss, I feel that feeling, like you just talked about, even just for that day of not having that, it's pretty profound.
Susan Bratton: Yeah. I think that if people understood two things, one, how much intimacy... and I specifically did not use the word sex because I think that when I use the word sex, people think intercourse. And although my 44th book that I am writing now is a book that's called Come Together, it's about orgasmic intercourse, mutually satisfying intercourse as a learned skill, that it's simply a learned skill that everyone can have. I don't want to negate intercourse because I think it's the most important thing in a male female pair bonded relationship, but I don't want people to think, "Oh, God, sex, that's too much for me. I can't do it." I want people to understand that when they have intimacy, pleasure, massage, all of the things, it doesn't take intercourse to have orgasmic experiences, definitely.
And the more that people can co-create those orgasmic experiences together, they are fueling their entire life force, and just their passion for life, their appetite for life, their exuberance, their vitality, and just really always trying to figure out how to move people toward, "Hey, all you have to do is start with something simple and work your way up, and you'll find your way back. And it's so incredibly satisfying that it's like you're living in a dark cold room, when you could be living in a fire lit, warm, connected, pleasurable room of your life if you just didn't think about the whole big thing, but just took some baby steps toward it."
Dr. Dan Stickler: Yeah, that's beautifully put. And that's exactly what we experience with it too. And I'll say, yeah, we make love for four hours every day, not bragging or anything, it's just the statement. And they'll say, "How do you do that for four hours?" And I'm like, "Well, it's not penetration for four hours straight.
Susan Bratton: Right, exactly.
Dr. Dan Stickler: That's a part of it, but the lovemaking is everything else too. And what it changed though, going from once or twice a week, to now, 10 to 12 times a week, and a big thing that changed with that was the linearity of sex into the circularity of lovemaking. There was always this, "Okay, I've got to get her to the point where she has an orgasm, or I haven't done my job, and then I've got to orgasm so she knows that I felt that too, and then it's over." And that was what it was, we were like two sticks rubbing together for those first 10 years. And so we found this and we realized this is some whole new-
Susan Bratton: Yeah. There's so much to be said for the kissing, the sensual massage, and I really think that yoni and lingam massage, I know that you are a tantric practitioner, but for anyone listening that hasn't heard those words... I really love those two words. The yoni, Y-O-N-I, is a tantric... It's a Sanskrit word. And really, what it denotes in the American practice of tantric sex, which is a more spiritual orientation toward lovemaking, it stands for the entire female genital system. Moving away from just this, like you were talking about, Dan, this medicalization of the parts and more that it's a pleasure system. And that all the parts are as orgasmic, it's not just the tip of the clitoris, it's all orgasmic. And the lingam, being the male genital pleasure system, the prostate, the penis, the testicles, the perineal area, the root, the shaft, all of those parts.
I just really love those two words. And the yoni lingam massage, hands on, genitals pleasuring is such a gateway to genital confidence, genital love, sexual self-confidence, orgasmic achievement and pleasure slowing down and connecting, allowing ourselves to have full attention on our pleasure rather than being in a performance mindset, learning that the receiving is a gift, limbic connection, the tapping into that, the conjoined theta trance state of pleasure, the relaxation, the hormone release, the neurotransmitter release, the nervous system reboot, just the grounding, just all of these, the resonance, the vibration. There's so many things that can happen when you just slow down into just divine pleasure together that's not goal oriented, that goes back to the body, mind, pleasure, state of healing, and youthfulness that are a big part of longevity, anti-aging.
Dr. Dan Stickler: Yeah. And that's my practice focus, is longevity and age rejuvenation. And you talk a lot about the health benefits of a really intimate connection and the lovemaking. Can you expand on that?
How We Can Extend Our “Sexspan” for Deeper Connection and to Live Longer
Susan Bratton: Well, I think I just listed them. There are so many health benefits. I think one of the first is that rebooting of the nervous system that orgasmic contraction creates. Another is the lighting up of all the different parts of the brain when we are pleasuring the entire body. The triumvirate of the lips, nipples, and genital systems being essentially a really stable three-legged stool of pleasure, spreading pleasure throughout the body, not just concentrating it in one location. The spreading of pleasure, so the lighting up of the brain, the oxygenation of the brain, blood flow, the vascular event of great sex, great intimacy, orgasmic pleasure. The flood of oxytocin, the release of vasopressin and prolactin, the transfer in a male female pair bonded relationship of the spermidine, putrescine, et cetera, from the ejaculate of the male body into the female body, or into another male body, into any body. All of that great spermidine for autophagy, for cellular rejuvenation, that can't go unsaid. It's such an important part of things. It's literally a cellulytics, semen as the cellulytics. That's fascinating.
In addition to the benefits of extra testosterone for her, serotonin for her, so she's got a mood lifter, she's got some confidence building, he's going to push off any potential prostate issues by ejaculating frequently. That's a benefit for him in the long run, just keeping the pipes blown out, if you will. Even the testosterone from kissing that she gets from him for her increased confidence and zest for life, her drive and desire, that's incredible too... from the saliva. I call myself a rainbow sparkle pony. I believe in full gender expression, you be you, I love you for wherever and however you're showing up in the world in this moment, and subject to change, I will adjust with you. I'm just in honor of your presence, whoever you are. I want you to have whatever you want. Sex is healthy no matter whether it's pair bonded or not, it doesn't matter, it's all good. Have as much as you can, have lots of partners, learn lots of things, have incredible experiences, always watch STIs.
There's over 20 of them out there, and you have to protect yourself because we don't know the long-term effects of a lot of things that are getting passed around. So safe self-sexual expression is really, I think, a hallmark of what I like to call conscious sexuality. But all of these experiences, our sex life gets better our whole life long. And I think that our best sex is in our 60s, our 70s, and as we extend our lifespan and our health span through extending our sex span, we are going to have good sex into our 100s. If I think about myself and my early 60s now, and all of the things that I'm doing in the anti-aging and longevity sphere to have a really long health span and sex span, I can imagine I will be having sex until the day I die, and I can imagine that being in the 110, 120 year range. So I've got another 40 to 60 years left, I'm only in the first half of my life right now.
And if my sexual pleasure trajectory stays on the current course that it has been, it's just unimaginable what kind of experiences and pleasure I'm going to be able to achieve. My sex life gets better and better and better, I call it being on the upward pleasure spiral. And I think about it like a DNA helix, where my partner and I just keep getting better, more confident, more comfortable, more responsive, more experienced, more heart connected, more soulful, more everything. That's been my experience to date in the 62 years on this planet, and I can't imagine that there's any reason it won't just continue to get better.
Dr. Dan Stickler: Yeah, that's beautiful. We feel very similar to that, my wife and I. And people I know are going to be listening to this and going, "Yeah, I want that." And they're going to be like, "Okay, well, how do you go about this?" And it's something I talk about a lot, is starting with the communication piece, because I find that that has the biggest hindrance to a really healthy and really significant sexual relationship.
He Importance of Education and Communication in Relationship
Susan Bratton: Yeah. One of my books, probably one of my most popular books, is called Sexual Soulmates, the Six Essentials to Connected Sex, this idea of passionate, heart connected, conscious, passionate lovemaking. Really, those are very specific words that I use because each one of them is full of meaning to me of the kind of sex that I'm talking about, this lovemaking. And the very first one is something that I call the Sexual Soulmate Pact, like an agreement, P-A-C-T. Because people are so shy, they don't talk about what they want, they don't share their dreams and desires, they don't use words of encouragement and adoration, they don't share favorite moments, I call it sharing frames, something I learned from one of my mentors, sharing favorite frames afterward, you know what the best part of that was for me was, "Oh, my God, that was the thing for you? Wow, that's so interesting." Like learning each other.
Knowing what you want and asking for it, feeling comfortable that your body is always talking to you, and I call it reporting in from your animal, you basically have no control over your body's responses on a given day. Sometimes, you're very, very far away from your turn on and you need to be led toward it, and opened by your partner, and relaxed, and calmed. Arousal begins in relaxation, not in, "Let's get turned on." You've got to be relaxed, and so you got to get out of your head and into your body, and sometimes, that takes a while. And so being patient with yourself that you will eventually climb that arousal ladder if you're not rushing and forcing yourself. So what does your body need? Well, that depends on, what was your sleep score on your aura ring last night, and did you have three glasses of wine, and what's going on at work, and how was your nutrition today, and did you work out this morning?
And all of the things that are fundamental to living a good life, how are you doing on those in any given moment? And then for women especially who are running on the moon cycle, even after menopause. And so what we want is always different in every moment. And I'm really learning how to honor that and to speak from your body to your partner, and let your partner know where you are, and what's going on, and what would feel good. And I joke, Dan, you'll laugh at this, pretty much all of my lovemaking sessions start with some part of my body needs to be rubbed with a topical THC pain cream. Because I'm always lifting weights. I literally just got back from the gym, I'm wearing my gym clothes, I literally walked in from the gym to talk to you today. I got up this morning and I did my Vasper, and cryo, and red light, and a 48-minute workout, and then I came here to talk to you.
Dr. Dan Stickler: That's your biohack.
Techniques and Therapies for Ageless Sexuality
Susan Bratton: Something is always needing a rub. So how do you get to the point where you can say anything and everything to your partner and they can say that to you, and it's completely comfortable, and it flows, and there's nobody who's ever feeling like they're doing anything wrong, and it's just this incredible, sexy, wonderful, heartfelt dialogue throughout, before, during and after your lovemaking, that it's always this massively intimate, deeply close conversation. And I call that the Sexual Soulmate Pact because... and actually, you can get that at sexualsoulmatepact.com. It's a download, and it's kind of an agreement between partners where both read... you print out the PDF, and you give it to your partner, and you talk about it, and you establish this agreement that you're going to begin to have this agreement to speak up and to begin to talk to each other.
And it's all of the things that you think you are feeling inside that everybody feels, and you just think it's you, and how, especially for our male bodied partners, that they can take it as information to do a great job, not as failure that they did something wrong. Because there is definitely a masculine dynamic that we have to work through around emotional collapsing with feedback, and a guy has to train himself out of that. Also, a lot of guys are stubborn donkeys, and it takes them a long time, and their partners have to be willing to keep saying what they need and to keep asking their partner to thank them for saying what they need. It's a practice, it's almost a mindfulness practice. And so I do think you're absolutely right that communication is one of the three legs of the stool of beginning to have a really great sex life.
Dr. Dan Stickler: I was reading a statistic about couples, that they have fantasies that they have never shared with their partner, and it was like 89 or 90% of couples, one of the partners had a fantasy or a desire that they hadn't shared. I thought, that's crazy. There's no communication in that. And the key is to feel safe in sharing it. And I think having that container that says, "I'm unconditional with you and you can share anything you want. And I will remain non-judgmental about it, and we can talk about it.
Susan Bratton: There's a difference between fantasies and desires, which is interesting. I think that if more people have those distinctions, that would also make it easier for them to talk about it. A fantasy is usually you would consider that to actually be something that you'd really never want to do, but that turns you on or gets you off. And it's usually something that's very, very dirty, very taboo, and turns you on. A desire is something that you'd love to do that really, really would turn you on and get you off. And when you understand that distinction, and that it's perfectly normal to think really, really weird things that get you off because you would never do them, they're just fantasies, then that's interesting too.
And when you get to the level of vulnerability in your intimate relationship, where you can share not just your desires... you start by sharing desires, "Well, what would be really fun is, I'd like to try this new toy while we do..." Blah, blah, blah or whatever. But when you get to the point where you're sharing your dirtiest secret fantasies with your partner and just laughing at yourselves about it, that's another level of intimate vulnerability, that is in a way, to be seen at that level, where you're loved for being this dirty, filthy, heathen is quite nice too, when you realize it's nothing you'd ever do. It's just like, "Oh, God, wow, my mind. Look how my mind works. That's crazy what I thought of."
Dr. Dan Stickler: Well, and society has created all these quote, "fetishes," and so that makes these certain things taboo that, for centuries, have been just normal lovemaking type of things.
Susan Bratton: What's a good example? What are you thinking of when you say that?
Dr. Dan Stickler: Let's see, like a kink fetish, that's one that people refer to as a fetish. So you look at it as some mental disorder that somebody likes kink, and yet kink is just another way of making love. When nobody's getting hurt, I think that's the key piece. When nobody's getting hurt-
Susan Bratton: When it's all consent and no one's getting hurt. Yeah.
Dr. Dan Stickler: What's wrong with it?
Susan Bratton: Yep. I wanted to go back and answer your question about how do you start, what do you do? Where do you go? How do you start? I think that would be reasonable because we're talking about a lot of upside potential to starting. So where do you start? I've been writing all these techniques, like lovemaking techniques, intercourse techniques, yoni and lingam massage, oral pleasuring, kissing, touch techniques, et cetera. All these years, and years, and years, I've been writing hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of techniques, and I've been teaching people communication skills, understanding their relationship values, the Sexual Soulmate Pact... I have a book called Dirty Talk, it's at dirtytalkbook.com, but I only called it dirty talk... it's not dirty. There are so many ways to have bedroom communication that are like worship, adoration, appreciation, running menus, sharing frames.
There's all these really interesting bedroom talk, sensual talk, pillow talk types of things that are totally available to all of us that don't need to be even dirty at all. So communication is the second leg, and the third leg is the sexual biohacking, the regenerative, the reversing atrophy, the regaining function, reversing orgasmic diminishment, and then onto enhancement, penis enlargement, clitoral enlargement, all the different kinds of orgasms, all that stuff. That's so interesting as well. And what I realized is that techniques are good, and communication skills are good, and these therapeutic modalities are good, but what people really want is one of the things that's in the Sexual Soulmates book, the six six essentials, one of them is Erotic Play Dates. This notion that if you get out of that paradigm you were talking about, everything we do is leading to intercourse, and then we're done, just getting rid of that and moving into, instead of linear circular, was your example that you used, I like that a lot, we're just going to meander around and play and have a good time. What do we do? What are some ideas?
And so I put together something called the Sex Life Bucket List. Essentially, I always want you to have something, or a series of things, on your sex life bucket list that you can look forward to doing and learning. And it's really good for solo people, as well as people in relationship, because when you've got this little list of things on your bucket list, then you have something to go for, "Oh, okay, well, I was thinking on Thursday night we could get together and we could find your G-spot, or give you a prostate orgasm, or whatever it is, and try this toy," whatever. And I put together 48 erotic play dates in A PDF, and then I made a video to walk you through the 48 ideas.
Because you'll be like, "What is this thing?" There's some in there that need explanation. And none of them are going to make either you or your partner contract. They're all going to be a move toward rather than a move away, and I think that that's a good place to start. It's at sexlifebucketlist.com, it's a downloadable PDF. So I don't know what your sex life bucket list is, but if you download it and do it, I want to know, email me. I love to know what's on people's sex life bucket lists. It's a really good catalyst for conversation because you go through the 48, and you mark them A, B, or C. A is, "Oh, this is definitely going on my bucket list." B is, "I wouldn't put it on my list, but if you want to do it, I'm totally down to do that with you and have that experience with you." And Cs are, "It's not for me right now."
Because if you are a lifelong learner, and you are learning about your sexuality, and you are gaining new techniques, and you are having new experiences, something you used to look at and go, "Why would anybody want to be spanked," or whatever. Now, you're like, "Oh, my God, it's the stuff I desire. It was my fantasy, now it's my desire. I'm ready to have that experience." And so if you have the As, Bs, and Cs, if you're lucky enough to have a partner and you compare your A lists, you've got a nice slug of really fun ideas for things you can begin to do. And then it's as simple as, "Okay. Now, where do I go to learn this thing?" Or, "Oh, I think I already know how to do it. Let's just get it done. Let's just have the experience."
And that's what sets you on the journey of realizing that your sex life is part of your personal growth, that it's your job to figure it out, and that it's just a part of the journey of your self-expression and maturation through your whole life, that fuels and informs your creativity, and your vitality, and your passion, for everything else that's going on. And so I think that's a good place to start, is the sex life bucket list.
Dr. Dan Stickler: I love that. Yeah. And you brought up a couple of the things that I would say fetish, the spanking, the bondage, domination. I learned Shibari and my wife loves to be tied up, that's something that really turns her on. So it wasn't anything that we had ever discussed or anything, it just happened, and she's like, "Wow, this is really interesting."
Susan Bratton: Yep. A lot of people like restraint. That's really what that is, it's intricate rope knot. I love the naughty boys that love to tie up all those knots. It really is something, and it is so popular with the 30 somethings right now too, Dan. They just are loving their Shibari. Thanks to Midori, I really think she brought that to America in a big way.
Dr. Dan Stickler: Yeah, I love that. So I want to talk about this sexual biohacking that you talk about, specifics of it, getting into the process.
The Latest Sexual Biohacking Techniques
Susan Bratton: Yeah. Well, it all starts, I think, with biohacking, it all starts with, at a fundamental level, just the anti-aging and longevity practices that we do, whether they're taking our NAD+, or our Senolytics from Qualia, which I do both of, or keeping our hair and our skin and our nails nice, or using our nootropics, or whatever that might be, and working out, and our weightlifting, and our cryo, and our red light, and all of the things that we do, our good nutrition, our watching our sleep, those are the fundamentals of sexual biohacking. Because if your parts aren't working, you got to get them working.
And if you want everything to not only work well but not to degrade over time, if you don't want to lose musculature grip so you can have good orgasmic contractions, if you want to keep semen volume high, if you want to keep the erectile rigidity of your penile and clitoral structures strong, if you want to have really good vascularization so you have blood flow to your pelvic bowl, so that you can get to full engorgement, so that all the surface area of your genitals expands to send way more signals to your brain, if you want to do orgasmic activations so that you are awakening the neuroreceptors, the mechanoreceptors, the proprioreceptors on all of your genital breast tissue, nipple tissue, lips, mouth, throat, everywhere, you have to stimulate that tissue so that you develop strong neural pathways to your biggest sex organ, your brain.
All of those things are really the notion of sexual biohacking, is that there is some attention that can be paid to your genital and pleasure systems that keep making them get better and better as you age instead of getting worse and worse. And then if you need remediation, there is obviously things like eating more leafy green vegetables and beetroots, so you make more nitric oxide, topping up your nitric oxide systems with supplementation using things like shockwave. The GAINSWave and FemiWave technology is absolutely fantastic for regenerative tissue growth, which when you grow back more tissue in your genital systems using the acoustic wave stimulation, you actually also grow out more vascular system, your capillaries begin to grow out to the edges again instead of retracting, which means your nerves can grow out there because they're enervated, so then you're feeling more pleasure again instead of having that orgasmic diminishment that happens with age, where it's harder and you lose sensitivity, as guys talk about, or women feel like it's harder and harder to achieve their climax.
So you're reversing that with shockwave. You can use PRP, exosomes, stem cells. I've harvested my own stem cells now and I've banked them, so I have the ability at any time to inject my clitoral structure with my own stem cells and some PRP and exosomes. Because if I'm going to go 100, 110, 120 and have great sex, I'm going to have to reverse the atrophy of aging. And so these are very interesting things. And then of course, the vacuum erection devices, penis pumps. They're incredible. Urologists give them out. And more and more women are understanding that the vulva pump and the clitoral pump that draw blood into that tissue are a way to reverse the atrophy, the sagging of the genitals, the labial tissue loss. We need our labia, as much as we need our clitoris, to give us full orgasmic satisfaction. It's not just that little tip of the iceberg, it's that whole system that needs plenty of blood flow.
And then photobiomodulation, both intravaginally, with a device I call... it's at vaginadevice.com, it's called the vFit, it does photobiomodulation inside the vaginal cave, and it helps with mitochondrial production of the vaginal mucosal lining, it helps with lubrication, engorgement, reversing incontinence, and it stimulates glycogen, which is what the good bacteria eat. Because as you age and estrogen diminishes, that is what helps produce glycogen in the vaginal mucosal lining, and so you want to do your estrogen replacements, your testosterone, your progesterone, you want to get hormone replacement going. In addition to doing all of these acoustic wave, and photobiomodulation, and the warmth and vibration, using sex toys, one of the things that I have is... essentially, I'm really good at looking at the whole landscape of things and organizing it for people, like the 48 erotic play dates, or whatever.
And the Orgasmic Cross-training is the eight types of female... vulva person, and the four types of penis owning persons, tools that stimulate the different areas of the genital structures so that you're getting blood flow and activation of the neural pathways to all of the structures, so that they are getting the good signals and the good blood flow. That's at orgasmiccrosstraining.com. And it's essentially just, "Look, start filling up your pleasure chest with these various tools and using all these different tools in self-pleasuring and in partner play to keep activating, activating." I read a study recently about a group of women who were stimulated in different areas of their vulva, and they had to comment on how it felt. And it was interesting that for most women... there were 53% who said the introital sphincter, the opening to the vaginal cave, was the most sensitive for them, that they felt pleasure, and 40 something, 40.3%, I think, it was said the tip of the clitoris felt pleasurable, but most of the other areas were either they couldn't feel it, numb, or was a negative sensation.
And so I thought to myself, "Well, good lord, start touching all that stuff." Enjoy instead of shame, start touching it the way it wants to be touched in that moment. Start playing with it, honor it, worship it, it will all activate, and enliven, and become pleasurable. Don't just assume, "Oh, I don't like to be touched there," because one time, you were touched poorly there. Be like, "I'm reclaiming my vulva. I'm going to activate all those parts and they're all going to become massively multi-orgasmic because this is my equipment. I own it. It is the joy and pleasure in my life." If the researchers had come to that conclusion instead of just stopping with, "Well, it doesn't feel good, so don't touch there." No, it can all feel really, really good when it's lovingly touched with permission, consent, and desire.
And so how do we help women understand that they can come from intercourse, they can come from all these different things, that their labia are there for pleasure, that all of this is important. And then let's help our male bodied partners stop feeling the shame for their desire, or the shame for their self-pleasuring and embrace that, and then come together in much more confidence, that there's nowhere to go but up once you let go of all that shame and all of that restrictive thinking.
Dr. Dan Stickler: Yeah, that's a great list of stuff. I'm sure we'll have links to all of it listed in the notes of the podcast. One thing that you didn't mention, because you're probably not aware of it, but we're doing work with young plasma. So we get plasma donations from 18 to 24 year olds, and we use it as a rejuvenation technique, where we remove 40% of your plasma volume and replace it with a liter from a young 18 to 24-year-old. But you can also take some of that plasma, pull it up into a syringe, and do it like the PRP, but you're getting PRP from someone who is in their peak reproductive years. All the hormones, all of... 1 cc of this plasma has 1.86 billion exosomes in it. You talk about rejuvenation, it is head and shoulders for sure, a technique that is really going to be popular.
Susan Bratton: Yeah, that's very exciting. I think PRP was our 1.0 in all of that regenerative injectable strategy, and I've had seven O-Shots. And the thing that I don't like about PRP is that because it has that inflammatory nature. My orgasm goes down for three or four months, it takes me a while to heal from that. And then I get the tissue growth and the reparation, so I going to like that part of it. But it's interesting to think about more of the exosomes and stem cell type of injectables rather than just the PRP because that downtime is tedious.
Dr. Dan Stickler: Well, the advantage of getting young is that the inflammation is much lower because there's much less inflammatory markers in the plasma than in someone our own age, where we already have those inflammatory markers circulating and it just can make it worse.
Susan Bratton: Yes. Yeah, it's fascinating. Yeah, I really, really love all of those regenerative therapies. It is amazing how you can turn back the clock on your aging genitals using the GAINSWave, the FemiWave, the PRP, or now in your case, the plasma that you're doing, the stem cells, the vacuum erection, the nitric oxide supplementation. I'm doing a case study with a gentleman named Shane who had been in a very long-term relationship that was essentially sexless. And he is 56, and he did a series of six GAINSWave treatments. He used his penis pump a few times a week for about six months, and he used the FirmTech Ring. Do you know about FirmTech?
Dr. Dan Stickler: No, I'm not familiar with that.
Susan Bratton: It's basically a stretchy elastomer ring that goes around the base of the penis and around the testicles. And it has a gauge on it that gauges hardness, so it's like a strain gauge with hardness. And so it measures erectile firmness and duration, and it's very comfortable elastomer, so you can wear it at night. So you can begin to measure your nighttime erections because they're so indicative of your overall health, especially your cardiovascular health, and men who have cardiac arrest, they tend to have no nocturnal erections left, and erectile dysfunction. We're publishing this data. It's very interesting to see how about nine weeks after his GAINSWave treatments, he was like, "Ah, I don't know if this was going to work. Do you think I'm going to need another round? I'm not really sure."
And GAINSWave was like, "Just give it a few more weeks, it just takes time. You're literally rebuilding tissue. That is not going to happen overnight." By 10 weeks, he already saw the difference, and by 12 weeks, he had complete erectile function return, he was rigid, happy. And the pump enlarged his penis, it gave him more girth. And he said, "My nighttime erections are waking me up. They're so, so hard, they're waking me up." And it was just such a great story of the regenerative sexual biohacking reversal. And the point that I want to make is that women have as much erectile tissue in our vulva as our male body partners too. You know that your penis... what you see sticking out of your body is only about half its size, it goes in and down, the tubes of the erectile tissue go in and down toward the testicles. And guys love it when they realize they're twice as big as they thought they were.
And what I have to explain to women all the time and their partners is, look, you take that banana's worth of erectile tissue tubes, and you just turn it into a circle with a point at the top, and pop it around the vaginal opening, and that's our erectile tissue, and it has the same exact problems. If you and your husband are eating the same food and doing the same things, you have as much ED as he does. People aren't talking about that because it's not so visible. But when you begin to get it back, it actually is visible. You begin to see the plumping of the vulva, the clitoral structure getting its clitoral erection, the orgasms coming back. Maybe it's the first time she was ever able to achieve orgasmic satisfaction from penetration. It just all can come back. So even if you've lost it, you can regain it. So I like to think about sexual biohacking as a combination of remediation and rejuvenation and then enhancement beyond where you were, because the more you grow all of these tissue systems, the more pleasure you have.
Dr. Dan Stickler: Yeah, that's beautiful. I know I want to honor your time here. I can talk about this all day, but let's just close out and give some people an idea of how to best get in contact with you if they're looking for some guidance in this area.
Susan Bratton: Oh, sure. That's super easy. betterlover.com is my main website. It's got hundreds of videos on it that I've shot. So if you're like, "Oh, I want to know about that yoni massage, or that lingam massage, or biohacking, or anything that I've said, it's all on betterlover.com. And I have a newsletter. This is what I write about all the time, I'm always sending out these things, "Oh, hey, I've got this new thing I've just come up with. Here's a picture of what the genital structures look like." I'm just very nerdy around all that stuff, so techniques, and anatomy, and all those things, that's at my newsletter, which you can sign up at betterlover.com. That's probably the best way. And if you have a question for me, if you're on my newsletter and you want to ask me anything, it doesn't even have to be about what that newsletter was about, you can just reply, and I get your email, and I will reply to you.
I spend hours a week replying to people because I honestly feel, Dan, that that's the gift that people give me, is they trust me and they ask me things, and I just keep learning and learning and giving people... all my work, all my best stuff comes from things people ask me that I had to figure out and give them ideas, and then they let me know how it went, and then I reworked... Like I said, I'm not a therapist, I don't sit in an office and do sessions, I write techniques and I get all my best stuff from my fans. So I'm here.
Dr. Dan Stickler: Love it. All right. Well, thank you so much for a wonderful conversation today, and I would love to expand on this again sometime.
Susan Bratton: Thank you so much for having me. You were a fantastic host, and I just want to say how much I love the whole team at Qualia as well. It's really my honor to be on their podcast, it's such a good show. And I hope that you and I get to meet sometime IRL, and I'm very pleased to hear about your great sex life, that made my day.
Dr. Dan Stickler: Well. Thank you.
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