There's Nothing Funny or Interesting about Perfection

I was recently interviewed for the PureJoy podcast (episode is not out yet).  We talked about all the things they cover on that podcast; health, wellbeing, our products, and human optimization.  It was all things I'm very interested in both professionally and personally.  Towards the end of the recording Elaina Love, the host, asked me a great question, (paraphrasing)  "What are you working on perfecting about yourself now?

I paused for a moment to think about my answer and what areas of my life I'm working on and perfecting and it hit me.

Not being so damn perfect

Now I don't claim to be perfect or any where in the neighborhood of it.  I am very human just like everyone else and continually screw up on my path toward growth.  But I can be a perfectionist and can, and often do, beat myself up on that path as I stumble and fall.  So this is the area I am working on.  Not being perfect and showing myself the grace necessary and deserved for the human being I am.

There's Nothing Funny or Interesting about Perfection - Kristen Bell

I recently stumbled across an interview with Kristen Bell who is undeniably adorable, and they were discussing the moral philosophies introduced and discussed on her show The Good Place. (Watch it, it's amazing).

She is absolutely correct in that quote.  Life is lived in the struggle.  If it was perfect you would be bored out of your mind.  If there was a TV show that had no conflict and everyone got a long and had everything they wanted, you would never watch it.  It would be pointless and dull.  This is why all the "reality" shows manufacture drama for the cast to overcome.  Oh no, will they be able to complete the project before the arbitrary deadline that was created to manufacture a sense of drama and urgency? Stay tuned!!!

This is not to say we shouldn't try

Personal development is a noble aim.  The alternative is to give in to a cynical view of victimhood and to take no responsibility for yourself, your choices and ultimately your life.   Taking control over your life and your choices and orienting your life toward a greater good that you are working on to bring into your life and ultimately your world is one of the core reasons we exist at Qualia.   We hope the content we create and the products we design can be of help on your own journey.   We also want to remind you that the goal is not some artificial finish line, but it is the journey itself.

Love yourself first and everything else falls into line. You really have to love yourself to get anything done in this world. – Lucille Ball

Your worth is not derived from anything outside of yourself.  It's not based on what you can produce.  It's not calculated from how "good" you are or become.  You are and have been worthy from your very first breath.  What you choose to do with the life you've been given is entirely up to you.  What you make of yourself and of the world around you is within your control and is the grand challenge we all get to take on.

We strive to be different. We Fail. We keep going.

One of the reasons for the creation of Qualia was to do things better than the status quo of late stage capitalism and bottom line only focus.  And we fail, all the time.  Just last week we were still not only on backorder for our products, but were falling behind on the dates we promised to ship out orders to our customers.  Long story short, some testing was not done correctly and we had to delay the shipments until we could get the testing done right.  We could have cut corners and just skipped the testing and got the orders out on time, but we had to make a hard choice in striving to keep with our values and upsetting new and existing customers.  It's not ideal. Life never is.  We upset a lot of people and refunded customers accordingly and overall it's just frustrating to be in that position.  But we learn from it and move ahead.

Strive not for perfection, but for progress

You are going to have setbacks. You are going to mess up.  You are going to fail.  It's what you do in those moments and the moments after that determine the direction you are going.  Will you learn from that setback and move forward a better person for that lesson or will you let it get you stuck in that moment and the story you told yourself about what that means about you?

Give yourself some grace.  Allow yourself to be the human being you are.  Be honest with yourself about what happened.  Take away the lesson from what got you there or what you can learn from it to do better if you find yourself in that situation again in the future.  Love yourself.  Move forward.

If you look around you can see this world has its problems.  We need you to show up fully as the unique person you are with all of your own gifts, strengths and weaknesses.  

This is what I am working on.  This is what I want to encourage you to explore in your own life.

Ben Cote
Director of Brand and Community

If you are interested in getting started with personally development I recommend starting with the foundation first.  Check out our guide on the fundamentals of Neurohacking in The Foundational Guide to Neurohacking